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Комментарии простых американцев о законе "Димы Яковлева"
me
ildarus
Собственно, обсуждение тут.
Из комментариев -
"За день до суда в Кемерово (прим. суд о решении об усыновлении), директор детского дома, на вид похожий на типичного злодея времен Дикого Запада с роскошными усами, попросил встречи в своем кабинете и заявил: - "Мы испытываем потребность во многих вещах из-за недостаточного финансирования государством. Если бы согласились оказать нам финансовую помощь, скажем 10000 USD, то я мог бы вас заверить, что ваши документы не будут теряться, когда пойдете завтра в суд, иначе суд будет перенесен на другую дату и вам придется уехать пока домой в штаты. Я вытащил 10k из моего переднего кармана и бросил на стол. А на стоянке перед зданием стоял его новенький "Мерс". Ублюдок."


"I adopted my son from Russia in 2005.
This has been an ongoing issue for quite a while, it was threatened while we were in the middle of the process several times.
As for adopting from US (Which is where I am from, and doing an over seas adoption) I_fail_at_memes is pretty right on with his description. He was a little off on the money. When all was said and done, it was approx $65k to adopt a child from Siberia.
A little background: My wife could not have children, we did the entire round of fertility treatments, around $25k for doctors, meds, treatments, tests which are not covered under our medical insurance plans, at the time we were both executives at blue chip companies, so we both had great medical insurance.
When we found out she would have only a %5 chance of carrying to term after she was hospitalized while undergoing the fertility treatments. She almost died, had a very bad reaction to one of the injections that I needed to give her nightly. I decided well more along the lines of demanded that she abandon the fertility treatments, her life meant more to me than her getting pregnant.
We started down the road to adoption here in the states, we talked it over and decided to adopt from the foster care system in NY where we live. After the intro class, finger printing, background checks, home studies, etc. This is over the course of several months, maybe a year at the time.
We were talking in bed and she brought up private adoption. I'm sure anyone that has ever looked in a local pennysaver has seen the ads 'Couple looking to adopt your unwanted / unplanned child' etc. Yea we spent thousands of dollars putting those ads in pennysavers around the country, getting a lawyer, an adoption counselor.
One day we get a call from a young woman in Ohio, she was 16, 2 months late with her period, and had taken a pregnancy test. She was in High School, she interviewed us on the phone, several time, as we did her, she agreed to a private adoption, my wife an I were over joyed. We got the lawyer on the phone, the counselor in touch with her, everything was moving along perfectly. My wife became her best friend over night it seemed, she was a confused teenager. Well a few weeks later, she had a huge fight with her boyfriend, and to get even with him for something (I believe he cheated on her with someone or something to that effect, HS drama) she got even with him by having an abortion.
Okay this sent my wife over the edge, she was the most stable and logical person that I knew, but that was the last straw for her, she went from a rock to a festering bowl of jello. She fell into a deep depression over the whole situation. At this time, the bank she worked for told her the division she was running was being moved to Arizona, so she either needed to move or take a severance package. We decided to stay in NY, family, friends, house, etc. This also added to her depression.
At this point she took a position at a much smaller firm, with a rather large pay cut. So the situation was really bad for a while, but we managed to get by, still spending thousands of dollars in the adoption process. I lost my job, Which hurt us even more. Long story short, I got offered another position with a small company (Which is now a mid sized company, and I'm a Director here)
After the dust settled, we were tired of jumping through hoops with the state, private adoption wasn't the way to go at least not for us. We decided to adopt from Russia.
It was an experience, to say the least. The process is long and riddled with government bullshit from start to finish. The sheer volume of paperwork was overwhelming, everything from full background checks that I believe were more intensive than my security clearance in the military, taking pictures of his room, getting the pictures notarized, CPA's going over our books and financial backgrounds to having every document translated to Russian by a certified translator and notarized. It was a very long invasive process. I honestly felt a criminal while doing it.
After all was said and done, we got an invite letter to meet a child in Siberia (Kemerovo) a week before Thanksgiving, the company that I work for asked me if there was anything they could do to help. Adopting from Russia, you first go meet a child, you are invited to meet one child, if you approve you start the paperwork, if you don't you go home and start the process all over again. We flew to Siberia, finally get there, we were handed the child's medical history, something was very off.
The paperwork we were given in the states was one page, and in a nut shell it said he was a fussy sleeper. We were handed a folder that was about 20 pages long, we asked our translator what's wrong with this? Showed her the medical report we got while in the states. She was going to look into it. We got to meet him, my wife swooned, played with him, he seemed off to me, but she didn't care, and he was huge, 9 months old and massive kid. Our translator came back to us and said we were sent the wrong paperwork, and she would do her best to translate his current current medical history.
Later in our hotel room she gave us the translated medical history, I'm not in the medical field, nor was my wife, we were in the middle of Siberia without net access we couldn't look anything up. I called a friend who is a doctor, he told me that he couldn't give an accurate assessment without seeing the child, I was getting really pissed off at this point, awake for 36+ hours, no sleep, no food, nothing, I told him, "Just give me the medical definition of the terms, I can't fucking look anything up right now, and I don't have time to fuck around" I read him the first page of the report, stumbling on the terms, he said to me, "Marakush, as your friend, don't adopt this child, he will be dead by 3 years old" Which just sent my wife into hysterics. Not just crying, I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance and have her locked up, it really was that bad. She was just praying, and talking with god something I've never seen her do. I'm an Atheist, kinda freaked me out.
Next day, I told the translator we were not going to accept this child, we just couldn't. She understood, We were devastated. Got something to eat, rested a little, our translator called us, they wanted us to come meet the child who's medical history we got back in the states, it wasn't against the rules because that was the actual paperwork we were sent. Back to the orphanage we went.
We met our now son, He was a peanut at 9 months old, a min after we saw him, done. Paperwork was started. We had to go back home and wait for our court date.
We got our court date, made reservations back in Moscow and Kemerovo, the adoption agency strongly recommended that we bring $9k in cash each, just to 'help' with any situations that arise, they weren't kidding.
The day before our court date in Kemerovo, the orphanage director, typical 1800 villain looking guy with a handlebar mustache, asked to see us in his office, and said to us, "Marakush, we need certain things here that the state is slow to provide, if you would provide us with some cash say $10,000 USD, I can assure you that your paperwork won't get lost when you have to go to court tomorrow, or that it gets misplaced and you have to go back to the states and wait until it is found then reschedule a new court date" I pulled 10k from my front pocket, and dropped it on his desk, if you looked outside the building there was his new Benz just sitting there. Bastard...
Okay let me wrap this up, there are many more details, but this is a huge ass post already.
Wife and I are now divorced, she became super mom, quit her job, neglected EVERYTHING and EVERYONE to take care of my son, became super religious, things went down hill, it took 3 years to get a divorce, and I got to spend Christmas eve with my son 3 days ago.
Edit - changed 33 to 3 damn typos."

"Long time lurker here, and this will probably get buried, but I still feel like I should tell my adopeted brother's story.
We adopted my little brother from Russia in 1994 from an orphanage in Tula, Russia. I was only 6 at the time, and don't know the details, but it was a long, difficult process. He was abandoned in a Russian hospital right after birth. it was the nurses there, not his mom, who gave him his Russian name, Karil (sp?).
When my mom finally brought my brother (renamed Matthew) home, he was 2 years, 2 months old... and weighed as much as a 6 month old infant. He was extremely malnourished and suffered from rickets. He was also terrified -- and I mean TERRIFIED -- of water. He was amazingly good at using utensils and ate ravenously for months, like he expected the food to be taken from him at any moment. He didn't speak english, but called my mom "momma" within minutes of meeting her.
Turns out all he needed was food, sunshine and love. He made a full recovery, and even learned to love swimming. But had my family not adopted him, his future would have been very bleak. He'd be lucky if he survived past age 4 with the lack of care he was given.
Today, Matthew is 20 years old, and completing his MA certificate. He's already saved several lives. He's a completely normal, American guy and you would never know he was abandoned in a Russian hospital and left to struggle in a cold orphanage.
There are lots of horror stories on adoption out there, but there are many happy endings as well, and my brother's story is one of them. It breaks my heart to think of all the other orphans like him who will now be denied the chance at a normal life with a loving family."

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